The first is something along the lines, of (not really a question) “Wow, you must sleep so well at night knowing what kind of good work you are doing?” (These are the people who want to make me into the saint I am not).
And the second is, “How do you sleep at night after all the things you’ve seen in other countries? Don’t you just get so overwhelmed?” (These are the people who don’t realize having your heart exposed to such poverty and injustice is just a part of the role).
However, the real truth is that some nights I sleep just fine, and others….not so much.
I am 100% confident that I am doing with my life what I need to be doing right now, but at the same time, I do have restless nights. I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders. I don’t want to let down the hundreds of thousands of children — who are depending on Feed The Children. I hope that I am doing everything I can to let the staff know how much they are valued and appreciated so that we can focus our efforts on delivering for the children.
While I am encouraged by the good I know we are doing in many places that are in desperate need of hope, I am also filled with anxiety sometimes as to why we can’t do more. There are always sad faces that I see on children when I travel, kids who I know did not get enough to eat the day before, both in the US and around the world. And there are always too few hours in the day to accomplish all that I dream about coming forth at Feed The Children.
However, there are new mentors I’m gaining along the way. They are teaching me that at the end of the day it’s always about just one child.
It’s about one family.
It’s about one opportunity presented.
It’s about one life changed.
It has been interesting as I have settled into my role with Feed The Children that there are several kids in different places I’ve traveled that have stuck with me. I’ve seen thousands of kids. I’ve hugged hundreds. But then, there is one or two in a country or a region of the world that have captured my heart in a special way. I know I am doing my job for them.
I know these are the ones that come to mind when I have a bad day. They encourage me to work smarter and lead more wisely.
In the wee hours of the night when I can’t sleep, I think of them. I remember as my mentors have taught me: it is always about one child.
And because of this one child, I keep on keeping on– long, sleepless nights or not.